Food .. Love or Frustration

And I am back to blogging. Why? Well... To pour my frustration... Why? Because ... well ... all psychoanalysis etc. says we have to let it out not to get affected deeply. But is that why am I here? 

Well, a bit of that & bit of something else. There is a number of thoughts which keeps battling with each other. Idea is to sort them out & order them in actionable items.

Disclaimer: I have a bad habit of not reading back what I wrote before publish. LIfe is too short to worry about grammar & spelling :) Main idea is to get little clarity on thoughts than where they are! 

Food. Who doesn't like it.. ( My mom coughs... ya she doesn't). Lately my food love has taken a big spike. Vada Pav, Paneer Gignger, Cranberry, Marchana Bhajiya, Sandwich ohoo. list is big. Earlier too it was there but I was able to control it but now, it has become little ... i can say .. out of control. While my tongue enjoys it a lot, my mind does not. Except few occasions, my mind knocks on door & asks "why the F i ate that. Don't I have any sense of control." 

And to take care of the same only, at one fine day I decided to do Monday fasting. Nothing to do with God & stuff but simply to check my self control. The benefits a video showed about the same was tremendous. That explains why each religion focuses on fasting a lot. It has to have a connection between better mind & body. With that it started... 

The first Monday with fasting so well.., I felt so good that decided to carry on for the rest of the year. Ya... that was it.. my spiritual journey already began. I added few spiritual books in my todo list cause that Monday night my mind & body were all happy & jumping with joy. Then came the Tuesday morning. I decided to break the fast with my favorite Dosa & Uttappa. That Lari was closed & ended up eating two dishes of Poha... Mind was furious with me .. & so was the body. :( I immediately realized the mistake. 

2nd Monday was same. & 3rd & 4th too. Yeterday while eating Poha in breakfast itself I realize... what the fuck is wrong me... Why despite knowing how it feels afterwards, i end up doing this.???? Can someone explain??? I still dont' know. 

It's like that suppressed emotion (anger, frustration) which outbursts after so much of control. And it's not just that 2nd day breakfast which screws it up... it just starts the chain.. once that is crossed, any food offered, the mind struggles to say NO. I think it takes the breakfast as token to have a free will at any point of time in week. If this continues, my Monday fasting would stop soon..

Do I want to? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ending the post here as I don't feel like writing & thinking at the same time... + But this is not where I want to end it completely. Let's carry on productive part tomorrow.

 

Power of Posture/Body Language

There’s this trend going on Quora where people posting questions like “what can I learn in 10/15/25 minutes which can be helpful for the rest of life?” Amazing! Thanks to the person who posted this. The very first thing that amazed me was to learn how effectively I can utilize 20-30 minutes for constant improvement. In a way it taught me, how interesting my life can be once I am aware of such tiny-mini tricks. But isn’t it unfair that this information was flowing in one direction and my contribution toward it is near to zero? With some guilt under my belt, my brain started looking for any small trick that has worked for me in last few days. 

Here’s it is.

Power of Posture/Body Language

You already might be aware of dangerous side effect of bad posture, especially if you from IT field. There is no doubt how simple change in your sitting posture would benefit you physically. But here I am not talking about it. How would you feel if I tell you that a simple posture will help you help you feel better, powerful and happy?

Smiling:

Study shows that just putting a pencil in your mouth for two minutes will make you feel little happier than you were. What happens here is that our brain has learned to associate smiling with pleasure. Try this. It works at-least for me.

Power Posing:

Another use of this technique is to feel powerful. When you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors.

Watch this amazing videos:

http://www.ted.com/talks/ron_gutman_the_hidden_power_of_smiling/transcript?language=en

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are/transcript?language=en

And She Goes!!!

I always wanted girls. As Mother, Wife, Daughter & as friends. I would like to thank god for creating the universe where a child gets birth from mother. A girl, wife, decides to marry & walks side-by-side for the entire life. I was not happy with god for not giving me a daughter. This feeling of hollowness passed away when “she” decided to move on with her life. There is a corner in my heart which now thinks its better not to have a girl as child. (Although I still want one little one). I realized how painful it would be for a father when daughter decides to leave him. I realized it when “she”, Vidhi, decided to say goodbye. After all these years, one more friend will move on with his/her life leaving me behind. She was not any ordinary friend anymore slowly.. gradually… she became part of the family.!!!

I don’t remember when our friendship began. Although there was not effort to start it, it just happened. May be it was the nature of both of us that made it happened. Vidhi, a girl who was born as girl but who wants to enjoy the life of a boys, that too not some common boys. Sometimes I wonder what kind of person she would have been if she was a boy.!! *Scary thoughts*. A semi typical girl, leaving house to build a career, to make friends, to enjoy parties, to enjoy casual talks, to do dirty talks, to care for others, to live beautifully. Call it my affection toward her personality or anything else, I was hit by her characteristics. No wonder there was a time in my life when Bhakti was suspicious regarding my relationship with her. Even some of the office people still doubt it :)

 

I still remember that evening when I was getting back from office & she made that call. “There’s a news... “. First & very foremost thought that came into my mind was ‘Goshhhhhhh!! Finally are you pregnant or what?!!’ I think I dragged it way beyond the boundary. Within a fraction of a second it gave me an opportunity to change the statement as well. “Are you finally getting married?” is what rather came out. A small confession here, even though I asked her for her marriage, back in my mind I was hoping she would deny it. I know it’s bad that I thought it but I didn’t want to lose a friend like her. I was shocked & speechless after hearing the answer. What’s wrong with you… Why would you leave everything to get a JOB… A 9 to 6, freaking job. I was not sure how to react. Later that night, I enjoyed few of the best moments with her where we talked non-stop while walking on O P Road. I repent I had not few more nights like that!!

One of the reason why I am not leaving c-sam or India is because I don’t want to lose friends. I don’t want to be the person who took the decision to introduce distance in friendship. I have been through this same moment earlier in my life but this was biggest so far. No matter what promises they made, ultimately they all forgot :( I don’t want it again.

I loved having tea with her, discuss our opinions on random stuff, it’s amazing how many of our thoughts are same. I wish these discussion would never end. She likes to chat for our about random topic or random people, but to my surprise she never revealed her personal life & I never asked it too. :)

Vidhi, It’s hard to imagine “friend’s” group still sticking together after you will leave, it’s hard to imagine how enjoyable my tea time would be, it’s hard to imagine how we will plan for weekends eat-outs, it’s hard to leave you like this... but..

...   Life goes on...

I have always loved you as my friends & I hope this forever remains same.

Will Miss you...

C Ya ;(

                                                                                                

P.S. I read above letter twice but I still think it’s not able to convey my feeling for our friendship.

A Visit to Jail.. !!

Looking at lines of my palm, I used to wonder earlier whether they are blessed to touch Jail’s bars or not. Today was the day when they met its destiny, JAIL. One more addition to experiences my weird journey of life.

On a monsoon morning, with perfect weather outside I went to railway station to see off my mom. I was yet to brush my teeth & visit the potty place. Everything was going good until I decided to zoooom back at home after saying chao to mother. As soon I inserted key & pressed the button to start the bike, out of nowhere YumDoot appeared. YumDoot took my bike key & asked me to put bike at distance.

While I was wondering what happened here, another idiot joined me. He (assume his name Gandu) was the worst and most memorable part of my adventure. My tummy at this time started ringing the bell that it needs to clean up for morning procedure. Looking at the urgency of natures’ call I decide to wrap up the legal procedure as soon as possible. He was not ready to give me receipt or fine me for the CRIME I committed. I felt like he’s waiting for some under the table bucks!!! Me & Gandu both asked him, “બોસ્સ, જે રીતે પતાવવું હોય એ રીતે પતાવી આપો ને office માટે મોડું થશે..”. We both asked him to take 50-100 bribe & finish the matter but khadoos didn’t agree.

After getting handed over to two policemen, I was finally taken to lock-up room.

I was like, “બોસ્સ, મેં કોઈ નું ખૂન નથી કર્યું. બસ No Parking માં bike park કરી હતી.”. He replied, “આ અંદર ચડેલા મોઢા વાળા ૪-૫ લોકો દેખાય છે એ પણ તારી જેવા જ છે.” Before I could react to the situation, he asked me to step into the room. The first step in lock-up room was the longest one, just like when the newly wedded bride enters in-law’s house for the first time. The scene was going in very slow motion.

The cell was small section on railway station created by fencing little area with wood sticks in square areas & added a door on one of its side. I was wondering if I should worry about me being in jail or my tummy pushing hard for potty. I didn’t want to take any chances of doing THE STUFF in public toilet so took few deep breaths. (Which came out immediately due to dirty smell & air I breathe in).

Problem with being so busy at office is your freaking phone never has battery when you need it most. I looked around the cell partners & found 1-2 sophisticated bastards who were constantly swearing at policemen for bringing them here. I tried little conversation & then asked for phone from Gandu. Although he was busy calling up his so called contacts from crime branch, he gave me the phone to call back at home. I called chaki, “બેબી, મેં bike નો પાર્કિંગ માં મૂકી હતી એટલે અત્યારે jail માં છું. મને આવતા થોડું મોડું થશે.”. Listening to her small reaction it felt like she is used to me going in jail. When I called her again after 20-30 minutes & clarified that it’s not BIKE which is in jail but it’s me, her reaction was longessssssssst you can imagine.

I still couldn’t believe in the situation I was in. It was like I am still dreaming & will wake up at anytime now. Time was passing, everybody were calling up their so called contacts & officer outside was getting angry on them. I decided not to get any help from anyone. I was happy for two reasons 1) Half day at office ;) 2) One more cross in my adventures journey. I checked the watch it was 8 or something. Time is a bitch, it really goes so slow in conditions like this. I started missing iPad at this moment. There wasn’t any much to do so I started observing ppl. 4-5 ppl were for no parking, another 4-5 for railway crossing, 2 for travelling in handicap coach., 5 other for doing pee-pee in public. Gandu was furious & started yelling his wife for no reason & I felt like one punch on his face won’t make any difference in my CRIME *giggle* right now since I am already in jail.

When we inquired regarding what’s next plan. He shocked us by saying that we can go only after magistrate comes in at 11a.m. & charges you for penalty. I was like, “dude, why can’t you charge right now since you already know my CRIME (it makes me laugh whenever I refer it as CRIME). He said, “We have to follow protocol, charge sheet is prepared so all you have to do it wait for magistrate to show up”. For a while I thought I should call someone to get me out of here with contacts but then what about the hard work that YumDoot put in for catching me & not taking bribe for it. I decided to stay there.

Time was passing slowly & potty started backing up inside. I couldn’t sit or stand, just kept roaming inside. Gandu offered me tea but I didn’t want to take risk with my belly. It was already acting up like volcano. Somehow Gandu’s contact did work & he was asked to meet officer inside his room. He never came out. The backdoor of police office took him outside this cage. For a second I wondered if he gave a blowjob for that or what.

9a.m., 9:30a.m, 10a.m., time was running like turtle. I met this kid around 10 years & chatted with him on how he ended up here. Gave him 10Rs to get some food for him & got back to listen to other fellows. Lock opened, door opened and there arrived 4 hijras. This was the most awkward moment. Now I desperately wanted to get out of there before they start touching vouching.

We were asked to make a line at around 11:00a.m., ppl at station started staring at us as criminals. Embarrassing part was getting stare by nice girls walking by. Another half an hour of waiting inside majistrate’s office while that freaking bastard was taking sip of tea outside.

Finally, A policeman announce,  “Mr. Abhishek Gondalia, તમે નો પાર્કિંગ માં તમારું વાહન પાર્ક કર્યું છે જેના માટે કલમ 159 અધિકૃત તમે ગુનો કર્યો છે તે તમને મંજૂર છે?”

I said, “મંજૂર છે”

Majistrated, “50 રૂપિયા દંડ ભરી દેજો.”

That’s it. I was free. Freaking 4 hours in stinking jail with bunch of smelly, irritating & nigga ppl just for those 3 words conversation. It made me to some self retrospection at the end.

• I always keep saying I don’t have time for this & that, but I had time for 4 hour of Jail without doing any single work.
• It’s not police who are accepting bribe; it’s us who offer them.
• સવાર સવાર માં station જાઓ ત્યારે પેટ સાફ કરી ને નીકળવું.
• નો પાર્કિંગ માં bike પાર્ક કરવી નહિ :p

Ek Cutting Chai!!!

Taking a sip of tea at 12:10 in the night & thinking whether tea is going to be National Drink or not. But anyways what the duck… even if it become, it’s not going to change my life anyhow. After kicking up my many mornings & making up my evenings, ek blog chai ke liye to banta hai boss!!!

I wasn’t that huge fan of chai until college. There was noconcept of bed-tea or evening tea in my life. Chai at home would hardly be considered as Tea itself; I would rather call it milk-shake in ‘tea’ flavour. Seriously mom hardly takes water & never forgets to add extra dose of malai in it. We bring the milk from tabela so anyways there’s hardly any water in that too. So overall it’s complete milk-shake :p. The only time I use to drink tea at my home was in the morning with bhakhri.

Another 8^th wonder of the tea-world is tea of my native village. It’s a tradition there to make tea whenever guest visits home. I took my chances & visited there once. *slurp* They must be getting special discount on sugar or they have sugar well like those arabs have oil wells. I remember that day when tea was served in full cup & saucer. I finished the cup (5^th or 6^th of the day) & after 10-15 minute when I tried lifting it up from saucer, it was stick to it so hard (due to extra (XXXL) sugar) that when I lifted the cup & saucer also followed. I survived my 1 week trip only on gandhiya, jalebi & chai at village & would never ever forget it.

*slurp* When I joined the college at nadiad, I always wondered why people enjoyed spending money for that milk-less tea. I still used to believe that the only best chai in the world was my mom’s milk-shake chai while these people were drinking fikki chai. Finally miracle happened. Bhupat, nadiad’s famous tea stall changed all my beliefs. Irresistible, addictive, tempting are the words for his tea. Whether its parle-g or magix, santram’s sada puff or panner puff, nothing went inside my tummy without his tea. Before exam, after exam, in the morning, in the evening it was MUST. *slurp* (no more slurp since tea is over now…)

Things changed but habit of tea-stall hasn’t changed yet. Cutting price increased from 2Rs to 6Rs & my daily dose 1-2 cup a day reached from 2-3 & than 3-4 & now finally upto 5-6 cups a day. Morning kick starts with an awesome jinger chai from bhakti. Another cup during breakfast, another 1 at office in the morning & few more in the evening. I decided to leave it many times, decided to cut down the count many times but arjun bhai & arun kept dragging me to the stall. Many times I see barista & CCD people *coughing* neat & clean idiots *coughing over*, sipping on cup of coffee. I watch them, watch them with pity in my eyes for them. But anyways let them show-off their high-class standards with their extra costly & boring coffee and you guys cheers on the kitli’s chai.

I don’t drink tea anymore because I am habitual to it or something, it’s just because I want to be there, want to have nice conversation with people there, want to do kaan-masti with Bhavin!!! I hope making it national drink doesn’t change it price :/

Jay ho cutting ki!!!

BTW bhakti is not around so all girls are invited for a cup of tea at my place. I promise I won’t disappoint you!! :p

*murmurs* ek garam chai ki pyali ho.. koi usko pilane vali ho.... 

A Glimpse of the AirPort

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India in kinda country where flying in plane is still called a luxury & status symbol. The reasons is not just money affordability, there’s something else too. There’s a long psychological explanation for it. You see, population of the country is increasing day by day, so there’s large possibility that there would few people able to fly high. This ultimately makes those people in high position who’re flying regularly or have traveled even once. Anyways, I’ll not bore you with detail but would try to piss you off with my boring observations during trip Bombay, oops Mumbai. (I hope I’ve not hurt anyone by using term ‘BOMBAY’ & if anybody is hurt with it than.. screw you!!!)

Before The Journey

As soon as you reach the airport, you’ll see people wandering around. Some looking for boarding pass windows, some seeing off their buddies, some standing in queue, some looking for which chick is better around (damn!! No, it’s not about me) & rest fighting with either boarding pass counter or with security machos. Only chance of 4^th category people getting success is in Bombay. The last category people are fighting for no reason. Their only concern is to get attention. I saw 1 during my trip. God, please pity on him.

As soon as I got onto plane the first I look for is, no … not the chick this time….. I look for which seat I’ve occupied. Walking to the economy class slowly, I stare at each & every face of ppl sitting in business class. The sole reason is to see if they are not staring back at me. This is the time when psychology mentioned in first paragraph works in reverse. The pride of riding in plane gets reduced by the number of people staring back at economy class. Anyways, other thing that is important if you’re flying for more than 2 hours. Air-HotTaste, I mean Hostess.

In Between

In between the flight, there are number of things to notice. Let’s start with your luck. The only time I got lucky on plane was when my seat got upgraded to Business class from Economy class. J Other than that bullshittt!!! My luck always tries to screw me 1^st with seat’s location & than with the air-hostess on my side. The grass is always greener on other side. L

Other thing to notice is revolution in people’s hand. Years ago they use to hold phone on airport to show-off. Than came the laptop. (Just like me, trying to impress this girl seating my right [It works!!! ;) ]. That’s not the end; on this trip I saw 2 kids with iPad & one with Galaxy tab. Revolution!!!

As soon as you get on the plane, you see at least 10 people who’re still busy saying good buy or whatever. The specialty of at least 3 out of those 10, is that they don’t put-off the phone even when the flight is about to depart. I really want to hear what exactly they talk about, specially that girl who kept talking till we kissed the air (BTW, we means all passenger not me & her!!! ). Her giggling & chit-chat was pissing me off!!

During The Journey

Just like my last tweet, “I found the solution of survival, if all the girls in the world die; I can spend rest of the life eating”. So second thing I wait for after air-hostess is FOOD. It’s a lollipop that keeps me walking up till late on plane. Talking on the same, I had my worst experience ever in flight. During this trip from vadodara to Mumbai, I was served, … any guesses… ?? Let’s just end the suspense. FREAKING DAIRY MIILK (that too worth 5 rupees). Jet airways, never expected from you. L

The other thing I observed every time is those jerks that keeps pinching the air-hostess for like a .. Million times. I guess their wife kicks their nuts so hard that they take revenge of it with this air-hostess.

Just after 5 min,

“Can you get Indian Express?”

Just another 5 min,(just after turning 2-3 pages in IE)

“Can I get some water?”

After 2 min,

“Is flight late today?”

“Can I get suger free tea?” (tara bape koi divas ghare pidhi chhe???)

“When are you serving drinks?”

“Can I get blanket”

..

“SHUT THE FUCK UP”, I feel like shouting to these rascals.

The last thing I do for time-pass is reading the faces for their fake attitude. It’s fun, you should try sometimes. Below are the identified categories.

• Desi (it’s easy to spot them, when they open their lunch/dinner box)
• Trying to be V-Desi (although they belong to first category)
• V-Desi (showing off as soon as they see above first categories.

Don’t judge me in which category, I fall in ;)