Friday, September 16, 2011

Thanks Honey!!

Just like a bike is nothing without one wheel, I’m senseless (… wat do you mean I’m always senseless??) without this special person. This person, I narrate as my best half, my nigga’ friend, my bro & sometimes (ya only sometimes) as my friend. Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome one & only, the original piece of an art, Bhakti!! On this special occasion of her b’day, I would like to throw (not literally) some Thankful notes for her.

Honey, I would love to thanks you for,

  • ·         For being my girl-friend when no other (beautiful) girl dalling ghaschara for me,
  • ·         For sneaking from your home & meeting me at nadiyad,
  • ·         For coming back for me,
  • ·         For making me realize how ‘beautiful’ falling in love is,
  • ·         For making stupid mistake of marring me,
  • ·         For writing those love letters for me,
  • ·         For making me khulla sandh in navratri all 9 nights,
  • ·         For b’day surprises,
  • ·         For laughing like baby on my krakalaka jokes,
  • ·         For choosing my clothes,
  • ·         For being my money manager,
  • ·         For cooking awesome breakfast, lunch, dinner,
  • ·         For choosing food at restaurant,
  • ·         For applying oil on my head,
  • ·         For testing my patience & making me strong in it,
  • ·         For giving up after our little nok-jok, :D
  • ·         Thanks for watching TV-soaps in my absence,
  • ·         For being the reason to come early to home from office,
  • ·         For not over shopping with debit card I gave you,
  • ·         For dinner you cook for my friends & family,
  • ·         For giving me my space,
  • ·         For inspiring me to stay in V - shape,
  • ·         For sleeping with your mouth open,
  • ·         For washing my underwear,
  • ·         For watching HIMYM, Two & Half Men, SouthPark, Friends & other shows with me,
  • ·         For correcting my English & doing proof reading for my blog,
  • ·         For allowing me to flirt with other girls ;),
  • ·         For over kisses & love,
  • ·         For still surviving with me,

Google blog service may throw ‘out of memory exception’ if I’ll keep listing out these thanks, so I would rest my fingers here. It’s been a fantastic day, month & year with you. For me every day is your b’day, princess ;)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Blow me, not horn…

blow-horn-gary-everson The way I criticize Indian public, someone would think the blog writer is freaking NRI. But let’s accept this, one or the other way, you’ll come across some psychos who’ll force you to use ‘MotherFather’ stuff. I come across such MF (let’s pretend M.F.Hussain) every single day. Just because blowing is free ( i mean blowing horn) doesn’t mean you can use it like public toilet. Reason I’ve stopped roaming around this city on bike is because of these M.F.Nuisances makers. I’ve tried to categorized types of these so called, M.Fs, let me know if I’m missing any or if you’re one of them!!!
  1. Style maru
  2. Impatient
  3. Thurki
  4. Car Owners
  5. One Leg in kabar!!

Let’s know them one by one!!!

Style maru

If you’re one of this, dude, what’s wrong with you??? The more you play.. sorrry… the more you blow horn, the worse is your impression on girls. Apart from that think about those bitchy words ppl use on your MotherFather, sister & brother… (wait a minute.. there’s no slang word used for brothers.) Strange!!! Anyways, for the sack of your family’s reputation & their sexual organs, stop blowing Unnecessary horn.


Stuck in a traffic these category of people acts like their mothers are about to deliver a baby & they want to witness the last minute labor pain. I mean, come on, .. if you know you're stuck in traffic, nobody is freaking able to move & although if you’re blowing horn “to aap ek number ke nihayati ‘chutyam salfate’ ho”!!! It’s not going to stop the traffic problem, so deal with it or get ready to hear ‘MotherFather’ stuff!!!


These ppl must ask their sisters about ‘how much they are impressed when some M.F.Hussain passed by them blowing horn'??’  No seriously ask them. Specially some thurky buddhas, if your mom is dead try asking your daughter. If they are not impressed then..,

Car Owners

If you're not falling in any of above categories there are chances you will fall in this category. I can define type of ppl owning card but that would be in some other blog. For some of these ppl, owning even maruti-800 makes them feel like they now own the world & rest of the world become un-educated ‘rengte kide’ who don’t know how to move on the road!!
Other type is ‘baap na paise lila leher’, who thinks their so called, ‘baap’ has just bought all roads & with that they gained rights to blow horn every 2 minutes. You must observer facial expression of these ppl, it’s like someone has put a horn in their asses & blowing so hard that ultimately they pop out their frustration on others by honking.

One Leg in kabar

Total respect for these category, if you see someone driving a shaky bike/car [like some1 has put it on vibrator… vibrator mode.. i mean :D ], blowing horn every 10 seconds (even on empty road) & going at the speed of 10-15 kmph, you’ve find one of this category. They are nothing but some scared ppl who would live just 2-3 years more!!
I can’t even use MotherFather stuff on these ppl, since they could all be dead by this time & I don’t want to wake them up!! Just a little offense but I’ll like to leave these category of ppl. [But at least they should learn from my father.. he hardly even have horn on his bike… kick ass!!! ]
That’s it; my daily quota of Mother & Father stuff is about to get over so I'll like to finish this blog here. Bottom line is
276732488v6_150x150_FrontNext time you’re blowing horn unnecessarily,
Remember someone is messing up,
with your MOTHER/SISTER in his/her mind!!”
So Stop blowing horn & start blowing … well… never mind!!!