Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Glimpse of the AirPort

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India in kinda country where flying in plane is still called a luxury & status symbol. The reasons is not just money affordability, there’s something else too. There’s a long psychological explanation for it. You see, population of the country is increasing day by day, so there’s large possibility that there would few people able to fly high. This ultimately makes those people in high position who’re flying regularly or have traveled even once. Anyways, I’ll not bore you with detail but would try to piss you off with my boring observations during trip Bombay, oops Mumbai. (I hope I’ve not hurt anyone by using term ‘BOMBAY’ & if anybody is hurt with it than.. screw you!!!)

Before The Journey

As soon as you reach the airport, you’ll see people wandering around. Some looking for boarding pass windows, some seeing off their buddies, some standing in queue, some looking for which chick is better around (damn!! No, it’s not about me) & rest fighting with either boarding pass counter or with security machos. Only chance of 4th category people getting success is in Bombay. The last category people are fighting for no reason. Their only concern is to get attention. I saw 1 during my trip. God, please pity on him.

As soon as I got onto plane the first I look for is, no … not the chick this time….. I look for which seat I’ve occupied. Walking to the economy class slowly, I stare at each & every face of ppl sitting in business class. The sole reason is to see if they are not staring back at me. This is the time when psychology mentioned in first paragraph works in reverse. The pride of riding in plane gets reduced by the number of people staring back at economy class. Anyways, other thing that is important if you’re flying for more than 2 hours. Air-HotTaste, I mean Hostess.

In Between

In between the flight, there are number of things to notice. Let’s start with your luck. The only time I got lucky on plane was when my seat got upgraded to Business class from Economy class. J Other than that bullshittt!!! My luck always tries to screw me 1st with seat’s location & than with the air-hostess on my side. The grass is always greener on other side. L

Other thing to notice is revolution in people’s hand. Years ago they use to hold phone on airport to show-off. Than came the laptop. (Just like me, trying to impress this girl seating my right [It works!!! ;) ]. That’s not the end; on this trip I saw 2 kids with iPad & one with Galaxy tab. Revolution!!!

As soon as you get on the plane, you see at least 10 people who’re still busy saying good buy or whatever. The specialty of at least 3 out of those 10, is that they don’t put-off the phone even when the flight is about to depart. I really want to hear what exactly they talk about, specially that girl who kept talking till we kissed the air (BTW, we means all passenger not me & her!!! ). Her giggling & chit-chat was pissing me off!!

During The Journey

Just like my last tweet, “I found the solution of survival, if all the girls in the world die; I can spend rest of the life eating”. So second thing I wait for after air-hostess is FOOD. It’s a lollipop that keeps me walking up till late on plane. Talking on the same, I had my worst experience ever in flight. During this trip from vadodara to Mumbai, I was served, … any guesses… ?? Let’s just end the suspense. FREAKING DAIRY MIILK (that too worth 5 rupees). Jet airways, never expected from you. L

The other thing I observed every time is those jerks that keeps pinching the air-hostess for like a .. Million times. I guess their wife kicks their nuts so hard that they take revenge of it with this air-hostess.
Just after 5 min,
“Can you get Indian Express?”
Just another 5 min,(just after turning 2-3 pages in IE)
“Can I get some water?”
After 2 min,
“Is flight late today?”
“Can I get suger free tea?” (tara bape koi divas ghare pidhi chhe???)
“When are you serving drinks?”
“Can I get blanket”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP”, I feel like shouting to these rascals.

The last thing I do for time-pass is reading the faces for their fake attitude. It’s fun, you should try sometimes. Below are the identified categories.
  • Desi (it’s easy to spot them, when they open their lunch/dinner box)
  • Trying to be V-Desi (although they belong to first category)
  • V-Desi (showing off as soon as they see above first categories.

Don’t judge me in which category, I fall in ;)