Wednesday, February 26, 2014

And She Goes!!!

I always wanted girls. As Mother, Wife, Daughter & as friends. I would like to thank god for creating the universe where a child gets birth from mother. A girl, wife, decides to marry & walks side-by-side for the entire life. I was not happy with god for not giving me a daughter. This feeling of hollowness passed away when “she” decided to move on with her life. There is a corner in my heart which now thinks its better not to have a girl as child. (Although I still want one little one). I realized how painful it would be for a father when daughter decides to leave him. I realized it when “she”, Vidhi, decided to say goodbye. After all these years, one more friend will move on with his/her life leaving me behind. She was not any ordinary friend anymore slowly.. gradually… she became part of the family.!!!

I don’t remember when our friendship began. Although there was not effort to start it, it just happened. May be it was the nature of both of us that made it happened. Vidhi, a girl who was born as girl but who wants to enjoy the life of a boys, that too not some common boys. Sometimes I wonder what kind of person she would have been if she was a boy.!! *Scary thoughts*. A semi typical girl, leaving house to build a career, to make friends, to enjoy parties, to enjoy casual talks, to do dirty talks, to care for others, to live beautifully. Call it my affection toward her personality or anything else, I was hit by her characteristics. No wonder there was a time in my life when Bhakti was suspicious regarding my relationship with her. Even some of the office people still doubt it :)
I still remember that evening when I was getting back from office & she made that call. “There’s a news... “. First & very foremost thought that came into my mind was ‘Goshhhhhhh!! Finally are you pregnant or what?!!’ I think I dragged it way beyond the boundary. Within a fraction of a second it gave me an opportunity to change the statement as well. “Are you finally getting married?” is what rather came out. A small confession here, even though I asked her for her marriage, back in my mind I was hoping she would deny it. I know it’s bad that I thought it but I didn’t want to lose a friend like her. I was shocked & speechless after hearing the answer. What’s wrong with you… Why would you leave everything to get a JOB… A 9 to 6, freaking job. I was not sure how to react. Later that night, I enjoyed few of the best moments with her where we talked non-stop while walking on O P Road. I repent I had not few more nights like that!!

One of the reason why I am not leaving c-sam or India is because I don’t want to lose friends. I don’t want to be the person who took the decision to introduce distance in friendship. I have been through this same moment earlier in my life but this was biggest so far. No matter what promises they made, ultimately they all forgot :( I don’t want it again.

I loved having tea with her, discuss our opinions on random stuff, it’s amazing how many of our thoughts are same. I wish these discussion would never end. She likes to chat for our about random topic or random people, but to my surprise she never revealed her personal life & I never asked it too. :)

Vidhi, It’s hard to imagine “friend’s” group still sticking together after you will leave, it’s hard to imagine how enjoyable my tea time would be, it’s hard to imagine how we will plan for weekends eat-outs, it’s hard to leave you like this... but..
...   Life goes on...

I have always loved you as my friends & I hope this forever remains same.

Will Miss you...

C Ya ;(

P.S. I read above letter twice but I still think it’s not able to convey my feeling for our friendship.