Monday, January 17, 2011

I love ma' India (Err... ahmm..., Sarcasm!!!)

We_Love_India_copy Ya, we’re taught above sentence (without brackets) from the moment we enter our school & before Independence Day. Just like a magician's parrot we also starts accepting it & shouting it. Some of us really mean it & some are like that magician's parrot & leftover are ones who don't mind loving this country as far as it stays as their medium for making money or survival (RSS & 'balthakre' kinda ppl).
No, No... I'm not going to write about some patriotic bullshit speech here. I'm just trying to list down few KINDA ppl who have made me loose my temper many times & are culprit for making this wonderful country, a country of 'poor' & 'stupid' peoples.
You can add more if you know any more KIND of.

Spitters

I wish if 'paan' & tobacco could produce different color when bastards spit them on road or on Gov. Buildings. That way we could have saved lots of money in paining of building & would have gained beautifully painted building just for free. It's one of the reasons why some of us (including me) hate to visit Gov. Offices or Gov. Bus stand. Screw them all!!!

One rule that government should re-evaluate is the rule of helmet. I think it should be changed & ppl should be forced to wear Helmet with raincoat. Do you even know why we have rule for helmet (hint: it's not for safety), ya, it's to save your wonderful clothes & face from the spit of the person driving in front of you. I wonder if they would be feeling like they are God & doing some 'amrita chhatkav' on their followers. My fight count with such people has reached to 2. Screw them all!!!

Blower

No I’m not talking about those prostitutes who offer to blow you or any cheap college girl who blows you for free ;).
This is about those butt head people who think that blowing horn on road is their fucking fundamental right for living. These actually are people who are suffering for attention. (Only attention they get is from my 'S' who would be please to sh*t on them.) They buy cars and can't resist showing them to others, if nobody notices than they gets pissed off and starts blowing horn.
May Hippopotamus would rape them all.

Public place smokers

Another status symbol to rectify a wasted life. Few 'SOBitch' also smokes while driving bike, to make them wonderFOOL smart. They only become 'art', a shitty peace of art which even the worst museum would reject. They are biggest looser. 2nd category is those who smoke in public transports like bus & trains. I wish if i could put their cigarette in their butthole and make them feel SMOKINGGGG...

Manners

We all know un-education ruins our country but what about those educated bastards??? One latest experience was visit to pavagadh. There are few very beautiful temples & empty masons kinda places beautifully crafted. And now they are re-crafted with lame writings like, "i love you seema", "haresh loves sushma"!! Fuck your bastards!! Why don't you write it on each other's ‘ass’ets?
You'll see these writing on great sculptures, toilets, trains, behind bus seats on school/college benches. If you're not that good with DESI slang words try any of above places it'll make sure your slang dictionary gets 200% richer with new & innovative words.

Mobile Phone Users

One of the best innovations of decade may also turn out to be pain in the ass sometimes. I wish there was a procedure to buy a phone, just like we have procedure for driving license. These people first buys cheapest phone the make loudest noise & hopes over the on train. (Trains are special victim). Then they start paying play those 'ghise pite' songs, which even the original singer would deny to sing now.
Another bunch of people will should shout on phone to make all other feel you are more important person than USA President. They think the more they should and more the chances are that 'Osama bin laden' would surrender to them.
During my recent journey a man spent 5 min figuring out who’s calling him and after wasted efforts he repent that he could not talk with some stranger. And finally he made a scene out of it like he just missed a call from alien living in some other world.

Reservation fighters.

Don't take it personally if any Gujjar is reading it, but they really suck (those who are fighting for reservation & creating problem for other innocents.) This is a great feature provided by India. If you're not good worker, don't think you can do much & go on strike, stop public transport, fire few shops & that's it, you'll hit the jackpot after that.
Eventually it turns out in non-productive output from those suckers. This happens in school, college, Gov. Job and every possible place. Reservation sucks, its fighters are suckers & leftovers gets sucked!!!

Bribe

From your birth certificate to death certification every Gov. Department loves above word, 'bribe'!! For them it's an open bride & screwing is their primary reason for getting job. I won't write much about them because my hatred words would go far beyond your imagination. But face it, from powar & raja to kalmadi each SOBitch is sitting there eating our hardly earned money & buggers like manmohan is helpless watching it!!! May the hell reserve their worst tactics for these MF*ckers.
Ahhhhhhh!! Now I’m relieved! I was holding this burden of facing all above kinda people. The only person i was sharing it with was my beloved chaki but it feels more relieved after writing/bursting it down. I still wish i could beat all of them which would lead me to my imagined ZEN life.
I love ma' India...
..
.. Huh!!!


2 comments:

hardik patel said...

i do completely agree with you abhi but person alone cant chagne whole world...but its good attempt to write on a blog to make them aware who do all shit..!nd just try to interrupt to your well wishers to whom you can tell which might spread in whole community...! Good to see you..in this mood...lol.!x jsk

ABhi said...

I know i can't change them all & that's what make me take this initiative.
Do share with your frnd (Indians only ;)